#7: remembering the jeremy renner app
all celebrities have apps. except for jeremy renner. those days are gone.
but first, a cocktail suggestion to sip while you read the newsletter. perhaps the jeremy renner cocktail?
revisiting history: the jeremy renner app
i was on a long phone call with my friend taylor this week in which she was telling me how i looked like an elizabethan gothic queen (her words, not mine!) in my new kooples’ dress when it inevitably came up. i speak, of course, about the jeremy renner app. nothing i write about this app will ever top what this brown bates graduate wrote...but i will try. and i will fail. and you will watch.
for the uninitiated — the jeremy renner app was real. say its name. say it out loud. the jeremy renner app. let the sound of those three words fill the atmosphere around you. sit there, look within yourself, remember. the jeremy renner app was a place to “do fun things” according to its app store description. and it was also a place to do a deep dive into the life of jeremy renner.
jeremy renner? you may ask. you know him. he played the least interesting avenger, hawkeye. he starred in the fourth installment of the bourne saga — the one without matt damon. he also played cannibal-serial killer jeffery dahmer in 2002. what a career. this is a picture of him.
other celebrities have apps. kylie jenner had an app. it used to be the only way you could get her full house tour. i don’t know if she still has that app. maybe she does. i won’t bother trying to find out. this is about jeremy renner.
the jeremy renner app promised a look into jeremy renner’s life. exclusive photographs, live streams, and even a global ranking of jeremy renner fans. that’s right, the jeremy renner app’s reach transcended continents, and brought us together regardless of ethnicity, creed, socioeconomic status. isn’t that neat?
but, sometimes you really can have **too** much of a good thing.
~5 things i liked about the biweek~ (not to be confused with 7 things the song by miley cyrus)
my legs. i used them a lot this bi-week which was a change. i went from walking about 0.5 miles a day to about 5-7 miles which is probably more normal for a girl of my age. my phone felt the need to notify me that i walked more in my first two days in florida than i had the entirety of january. why did tim apple feel the need to do that?
olivia wilde is rumored to date harry styles...but somehow jason sudekis wins the break-up.
i spent many minutes playing around here. just head to the top right corner and let the good times rollllll.
poshi artichokes. i am so in love with this guilt-free snack. the cauliflower (which took me multiple attempts to spell correctly...it’s my spelling kryptonite) is also really good.
desserts i ate this week. look!
dishonorable mention: guy fieri’s flavortown ghost kitchen. i tried it. i went to flavortown. the branding is good (town), but the sentiment of the legendary pete wells’ review rings true when it comes to the flavor.
what are you doing to help chinatown?
here are some ways to do good, look cute, and be cool.
cute sweater for if you ever wanna look like a walking menu
cute dim sum tshirt
cute long sleeve shirt
do the curtains match the drapes? make sure your wall looks just as good as you do! with a prints + galore!
read receipts
shakespeare in a divided america
movies!
i care a lot — this and the britney documentary really make you question court appointed guardianships
tour de pharmacy — i’m a simple girl. i see nathan fielder and i click play.
reed hastings did WHAT?
behind her eyes — serious jordan peele’s us vibes. watch it for the last episode’s wtf-ness and bono’s daughter’s knifework. but actually don’t waste your time watching it….because it’s a bad show.
if you just signed up! congrats! your bi-week = made 👏🏽👏🏽
wow, you're so pretty!